Clarity
by Chi121
Summary: Losing himself in the Phoenix Force; With so much and so little said, Scott Summers learns what is most important to him. (A Scott Summers/Jean Grey fic; taking place around Avengers vs. X-Men #11)


_This fanfic was inspired by Zedd ft. Foxes' song "Clarity." Personally, I'm not a fan of song/fic tie-ins, so there won't be any chunk of lyrics popping up or anything, but I just felt like this song really fit the couple that is Scott Summers and Jean Grey._

*Apologies if I have missed some details; I'm drawing on knowledge from the New X-Men and Phoenix: Endsong. This takes place around issue #11 of Avengers vs. X-Men.

* * *

"This is—This is what Jean felt like."

Aware of the darkness that would befall him in only a moment's time, the last spark of humanity left in Scott rose up to take control of his body, flying at amazing speeds, and leaving everything behind before he could cause even greater destruction.

All he achieved with the Phoenix Five seemed insignificant as the young boy in him was crying out from what he had just done. Killing Xavier seemed like a necessary evil to reach the dream that his teacher had had him believe in for so long, but after all that, voices from his past haunted him. Especially the words of Jean, well, the shadow of Jean formed from dust on the moon. He would die with his humanity.

Drawn to the past, Scott headed towards the frozen waves. It was only a temporary measure, but for now, would hopefully prevent more death. Perhaps he was being a coward, running away from his heinous crime, no, he was a coward. He knew that if he were to return; all would condemn him. Without realising, he had chosen the same place that Jean had tried to freeze herself when she was last possessed. Diving deep into the waters, Scott thought his final goodbyes and hoped that in time he would be forgiven.

* * *

"Scott…"

He looked up, surrounded by white light, and saw the symbol of his past life and the person who knew him best: Jean.

There were no words that could express the giant wave of emotions that fell over Scott during that moment, and so he just fell on his knees while tears began to run from his eyes.

"Scott, look at me." Jean cupped his face with him warm hands, but Scott just didn't have it in him to look her in the eye.

"Jean, I killed him…We thought we had done so much, but I knew—I knew what was going to come next."

Before he could realise, Jean had enclosed him in an embrace. He was shocked, yet overcome by the warmth of her body, provoking more tears to fall.

"Scott—you of all people know that I am not in a position to condemn your actions. You prevented the Dark Phoenix from rising and you held on to your humanity in the end. Xavier…He has gone to the towers of the White Hot Room where he will find peace, but now it is your turn. I was being selfish; wanting to see you just one more time…" It was the last part that provoked Scott to raise his head, taking in all he saw before him. Jean had her warm smile; a smile that was meant to comfort him, but was still holding back so much. Her expression gave rise to feelings that Scott thought he had buried long ago.

"If I must go, I want you to tell me…The moment I chose to be with Emma, did you do something to me?" Without a word, Scott knew the answer immediately when he saw Jean's eyes look away for just a second. "When I was at your grave I was ready to leave the X-Men for good, but I felt something pushing me to move on and live. I should've known it was you. After all I had put you through, you still wanted me to try and be happy, didn't you? You were still so selfless…Jean, I'm so sorry."

Jean shook her head vehemently, "I saw what would have happened if you did leave. I'm the one who should be sorry. Every time I'm with you, I just die on you and to put you through that continuous mourning is cruel of me. Even when the Phoenix raised me from the dead; you and the others allowed me to become the White Phoenix with your love. You've saved me so many times already and deserved happiness."

Time may have passed, but without the ticking of a clock, the two were just frozen. The things that were not said before, the times where there was distance between the two seemed like a dream long past.

Suddenly, everything came back. Scott and Jean were in each other's arms connected through a deep kiss. With the past conflicts almost faded, Scott remembered why it would always be Jean. They were each other's remedy, through all the insanity and tragedy; Jean was the clarity that had always guided him in his time of need.

Scott thought of his relationship with Emma and how it was probably beyond repair in light of his betrayal as the Phoenix. Nevertheless, all thoughts of Emma began to disappear. So often he caused others pain through his selfish desire for Jean, he thought he didn't need her. However, Jean was always a part of him and he knew now that he was destined to chase after her and fight for her until the very end of his existence.

* * *

Was this the end? After the parade of red he had left back on Earth, it was time to face the consequences. Scott broke away from the kiss and looked at Jean with a solemn expression.

"I guess it's time for me to go."

Jean was on the brink of tears, closing her eyes to hold them back. Taking a deep breath she opened them again, directing her gaze straight at Scott, a look that cut him deep down as he believed that this would truly be their last farewell.

"No."

Taken aback, Scott grabbed Jean the sides of her arms; trying to shake some sense into her as well as a means of preventing him from collapsing to the ground. "Jean, I have to. My death is amends for what I have done."

"No! I-I won't allow this! Scott…when I saw you last, I said that I needed to find the missing pieces of myself. I never found that last piece. I never found it; because it was you."

Scott was trying to find some reason against what Jean had just said, but his common sense lay forgotten. The breaking point was Jean pulled on Scott, drawing him in. With no resistance he moved closer and pushed Jean down falling with her into another embrace and kissing her once more.

With the choice made, neither spoke. Eternity laid ahead of them; the two lovers abandoned all but each other, speaking an unspoken promise that this was it.

* * *

_The Phoenix is a being surrounded by endless mythology; the most prominent one being the tale of death and rebirth. Yet, there is another. The Phoenix: man and woman, together, tied by the bond of love. _

_Through the power of love, the universe will find its salvation._

* * *

There it is. I hope you enjoyed it. I maaaaaay been hypocritical in trying to "subtly" (hah!) incorporate the song into the story, but I couldn't help it. The thing about the New X-Men that bugged me was that it seemed that so much was left unsaid between the two and Endsong was kind of a by-product of that. I probably didn't do any better, but "sorry" is still a powerful word. Please tell me what you think and especially if I made a typo or something. I'm not trying to be uber professional in writing this. This is just a means of venting my frustration at what could've been. Whether this is just an oneshot, I'm not sure yet, but I think I made the set up for a second chapter _slightly_ difficult…


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